http://www.maxxfamilylife.com/Single-Moms/...gle-mothers.php

I was watching the news just now, and the topic was about scholarships for single pregnant mothers.

I'm against it. In my opinion, it is an outright insult to young women who choose to either abstain from sex or practice safe sex because THEIR EDUCATION COMES FIRST.

I really don't know what this society is coming to. Seems as if everybody has to embrace an extreme of some sort. Back in the 1970's and before, it was taboo for a woman to have a child out of wedlock. She was shunned, often from her family and community. So that was the other extreme, and in their defense, they didn't have many choices back then. Birth control pills were new and probably unreliable, abortion unavailable, and it is doubtful that condoms were the best in quality.

Just thirty years later, we are at the opposite extreme! Forget about there "being no shame" for bearing children out of wedlock - it is now condoned. And beyond condoned, now we're at a point where it is REWARDED.

Offering scholarships to people like this is like saying, "It's okay if you don't bother to wear condoms and have an accident - cos we'll just give you free money to go to college for your mistake!"

Sorry, but that makes me sick. It will never be fair to women who choose not to have children, or to wait until they are married and ready to have a child - prioritizing their lives RESPONSIBLY.

Added note: Some people do simply have bad luck, I understand, and should have a chance. However, I do believe that many females are going to abuse this chance for a scholarship just like people have the tendency to abuse other things.

I am, however, open-minded to any other testimony somebody might have here . . .

I agree, single motherhood shouldn't be encouraged. In my neck of the woods, Northern New Jersey, there's a lot of single mothers, some of them quite young. Too many of these cases result from girls having unprotected sex with some moron, and they keep doing it. It's their kids who suffer, having different siblings by different fathers and an irresponsible mother is not good :( In my school, there were a lot of girls like that, two or three kids by different fathers, or "baby daddys" :rolleyes: . And many of them go onto public assistance, which we pay for, that's why we have such high taxes. I don't think of myself as being heartless, just responsible, and they should think of their children first.

Another good reason why it shouldn't be encouraged. It IS the children who suffer. And whoever invented such a scholarship couldn't have possibly been thinking about that.

So not only irresponsibility is promoted, but selfishness too.

I can't help but think that the scholarships would be MUCH better spent on the CHILDREN of mothers who made these choices, not the mothers themselves.

You pretty much hit the ball on the head. I don't agree with it either. I feel there shouldn't be awards for women who get pregnant. Because it puts priority over those who don't have kids who may be better qualified for the scholarship.

My friend Charity had a baby her junior year... I was there taking her back and forth from the hospital. She finished college... just graduated this year. So it's not impossible. I just think people make excuses and it pisses me off.

Both my mom and my aunt are single moms.

I'm a single mother. I was with the father of my child for the whole pregnancy until my child was born. The father than bailed so I know how hard it is to be a single mother. I have benefits because of my child but I also work to take care of my child. I'm in college and my little one goes to a free day care offered on campus for the single parents.

Girls, we're not criticizing responsible single mothers, but the irresponsible ones. Like those who get knocked up by some guy and don't know who the father is, and keep getting pregnant by going to clubs every weekend. I'm sure you're doing the best you can, and we're not criticizing you :)

Thank you! :) I was a bit insecure..

This is so stupid I don't even have words. This means Jamie Lynn Spears could go to Harvard.

Ditto.

I agree, Doro :) This stupid girl has a popular TV show and is role-model for a lot of her fans, and she has to get herself pregnant. I cannot believe her mother let her have a live-in boyfriend at 16. :rolleyes: Then again, the whole Spears family is trash, you can take them out of the trailer... :rolleyes:

Well there are some mothers that deserve it...im not going condemn them because of some other people.

The logic behind ths scholarships is that...it costs to get an education. Jamie lynn spears has enough money to buy an education.
Some mothers dont...some of them have to spend money on their children and then they dont have any money for an education and of course some jobs need a degree or qualification of some sort.

if your just single and not a mother...you might be able to afford an education. I hardly think that a scholarship is a bloody reward...have u ever been to university, its hard bloody work and with a kid? Heh reward a bit of an overstatement.

I'm not particularly disgusted...not even disturbed.
You cant just assume that single mother=irresponsible.
Even if she is...cant do anything about it now, just got to be there to support bot mother and child.

Children should get scholarships but that's not gonna happen for another 18 years so, what happens then. Mother stays in poverty along with the kid because she made a mistake (people make mistakes believe it or not). If we can help, we help.

Agreed!
You put all my thoughts into words :)

Right, and like I said, some people are responsible and just have bad luck. But there are also many that bring it upon themselves.

But many of them (or should I say us) can't afford higher education, even when they chose to save money by not having children. So how is it fair on them when they are working their butts off just to get an education, and a single mother gets it for free WHEN she was irresponsible?

Absolutely, I have a four year degree, and that is why I'm saying this. There's no way I could have afforded it on my own; I had to get outside financial help. So I do think it is common sense - try to PREVENT having children until you're educated and can actually afford them.

Then why can't they apply for a regular scholarship like everybody else? Does there really need to be a SPECIFIC scholarship JUST for single mothers?

I still believe that these types of scholarships encourage irresponsibility. People often make mistakes and don't learn from them, and mooch off the government or other people because they can - believe it or not.

MissHorseman, nobody is saying that your mom and aunt were irresponsible and that nobody should have helped them. I think we just need to be careful what messages we portray in today's society and whether these methods are fair to other hard-working people who were able to prevent the situation, that's all.

umm....girls after all what are we criticizing here? just being a single mom? hope not...

what have made some mistakes and got pregnant before the time was "right" and have be brave enough to face it?

sorry...I'm not joking...just got confused...

(I'm really sleepy so... :P )

I'm not sure how scholarships work...but, if their working so good then there's no need for a specific scholarship targeted to a certain population...so...thus, the scholarship program is probably missing some people who badly need it.

It is a possibility that most single mothers are in the working class bracket and might never have thought higher education was a possibility and that's why these scholarships are here to get them into work.

Education should be free for all, its wrong that some of us cant afford education. These scholarships will never encourage people to have more babies, only a fruitcake would do that.

These single mothers will need more money than we will...we need money but they need money for them and money for the children.
These specific scholarships might give out money.

I dont think we should be discouraging the administration from giving money to people who need it...and they might not be irresponsbile.
They might have actually planned the baby and their hubby leaves them. Or they might've got drunk, got pregnant and couldnt stand the idea of killing their unborn baby.

These things happen. It's a hard life and they need the money, if i was a single mother id need all the help i can get. I'm not gonna moan about this or feel disgusted.

This reminds me of the phrase "the deserving poor and the undeserving poor", it seems people have a very superior, looking down on people who were irresponsible at certain point in time.
Does it achieve anything? no it doesnt.

I dont care about the flippin message portrayed to other people, if it means that more people get into education and might give their own children a better life, then good. This is not a reward because they probably dont know the value of education. The amount of stigma attached to being a single mother is quite astounding.

Lady...you should think about the message you portray to single mothers and ask yourself how they'd feel.

Cat, I don't know what sort of poor they have in Scotland, but here in New Jersey we have a lot of the "undeserving poor". When I worked in a medical office in Jersey City, there were a lot of patients with Medicare and Medicaid and food stamps, who were healthy, able-bodies people with fancy clothes and the latest cell phones and I pods. It's disgusting that these people live better than me, and I work :angry . That's what I mean by "undeserving poor", unemployed people should not live better than working people. I'm not saying all poor people are like that, but I've seen too many like that.

I get this attitude from my family, they came from Cuba in the 50's after Castro took over, they didn't have much money and didn't speak English. Instead of whining or going on public assistance, my grandparents took any job they could get and sent their kids to school, learning how to speak English so they could become American citizens. When I think of how hard my grandparents worked to give their kids a better life, and I see lazy people on welfare who live better than I do, it gets me so angry :angry . Sorry if I came off a bit harsh, but that's how I was raised.

Oh I agree completely. It's just rewarding bad behavior

Well, the bottom line is, having children is a choice. Period. It's not like cancer or some kind of disease that you can't control getting, and really do need benefits for. And with that being said, it isn't fair for those who are disabled, ill, etc and are having single mothers' needs prioritized over theirs.

It also isn't fair in the work force when single mothers are prioritized (i.e., they get to leave early for their kids while single people have to do twice the work).

Now, with that being said, the benefit to childless people can be money, yes. We take their shift and make far more than they do because we're spending on ourselves whereas they end up being able to put in fewer hours and have to shell out money on kids day after day. Sounds like a hard life - but once again, that was their choice.

I've spent a lot of time in Britain and know that so many people can mooch off the government there and barely lift a finger, so it does surprise me that it doesn't bother you.

As for the scholarships, I've learned since that they've come up with some pretty strange ones anyway. For example, we apparently have a scholarship out here for LEFT-HANDED people . . .

Yeah, I read about that, what with the chavs and the neds on the dole over there. I remember reading a story about a family with three daughters, ages 12, 14, 16, where they all got pregnant at the same time :o The mother's reaction was that "there should be more sex education in the schools" :blink: . The whole family was on welfare, using conversion rates, they were making about 50,000 just in benefits, and with the kids, they got more benefits. That was so shocking to me, but I heard in Britain there's a lot of girls like that. Rule Britannia indeed :rolleyes:

Ye well im more concerned about the money the government is nicking for their military projects. This doesnt even measure on the richter scale of my annoyance. It amounts to peanuts in comparison to what our govt distribute to things their interested in. I repeat What their interested in...not us.

All this focus on benefits, it undermines things coz i refuse to get to a position to wear i have to prove to someone im disabled or have anyone question anything about my eligibility for benefits. It irritates me that people value working people over other non-working people, most do it coz their lazy some people do it coz they dont want to work in a hierarchical structure...or some are just done with work because their jobs are secure. But benefits are. It's quite logical in that sense.

Everyones entitled to a better life but you wont get it with the government you have. The decision for a scholarship program for single mothers, wasnt made by single mothers but by the administration, probably to get them into work as if its some bloody golden ticket to heavenly peace.

- Lucifer - there are various reasons for medicare and medicaid...they wont all have physical disabilities or seen disabilities. They could have epilepsy or some mild athritis...disabled people believe it or not can own ipods and fancy clothes...perhaps they were able bodied at some point and then became disabled. I dont know....there's quite a lot of stories about people abusing the system. I can't say im suprised. We're kinda put in a position of constant competition and pressure to have nice things when we dont have the means to achieve.

The thing is i cant get annoyed about this, not when our govt is nickin far more money from us than they are. At least all they'll use it on, will be on things with local consequences.

The focus on benefit fraud, is...making it difficult for us "deserving" people, its fuckin hard to get benefits believe it or not. A lot of people are eligible for it but dont know how to apply for it, the govt deliberately makes it hard. The public perception is quite different.
I'm getting a cut in my benefits this year.

I blame a lot of people actually, blame the people who read the papers and dont look into the facts. It's like a govt ploy to divide us and keep us bickering amongst ourselves while they sneak round the back and nick some of our money in the name of taxes.

Im deviating but...this scholarship is just another added thing to why people feel entitled to something, like a better life and they arent getting it. But the blame isnt with the single mothers coz to be frank their doing the same...some of them might be takin it into their hands and trying to get benefits illegally, if only to have a less crappy life.

Their just not playing the game by the rules, their not working honourably...fairly machievellan, what do you expect in a cut-throat world?

Cat, I'm not slighting people who are genuinely disabled, but people who milk the system. And maybe some of them did have epilepsy, I did work for a neurologist. And I've seen a lot of people milk the system, my mother and I. My mother works in a supermarket, and on the first of the month, people get their welfare checks and food stamps. At the beginning of the month, people are buying steaks and and expensive food with the food stamps; at the end of the month, they're haggling over the price of Ramen noodles (20 cents a package) :o

I've also overheard my fellow employees at the medical center talk about a scam they use to get more from the system: if a woman has a child that lives with her, she can get more from welfare than if she didn't have a child. Oftentimes, the kid gets claimed by another relative on the form, so the relative gets a few extra bucks. They were very open about it, they didn't seem to notice that I could hear them :o . That's what I mean by welfare fraud. And by the way, my name is Vanessa :)

Well that sucks, is there a way to tell someone?
If people report these things in newspapers, people have a distorted view of the majority of people who claim benefits, so much so, that they want to stop benefits altogether or make us jump through loads and loads of hoops to prove we're eligible.

No, because I could lose my job and they would just say I was a liar. They didn't know I could hear them :rolleyes: And while I do know there are people who really need disability and welfare, there are quite a few people who milk the system, that's a good example. Then again, since the government doesn't follow up on these people I don't blame them for scamming the system, but it is in bad taste to brag about it :rolleyes:

Right, very well said Vanessa. This isn't a criticism to those who are truly in a bad situation that can't be helped. But when people get into a situation where they are helped and then they take advantage of the situation, that is when the problems begin.

A good example is in Massachusetts, where a prison inmate named Robert Kosilek is trying to get the State of Massachusetts to pay for his sex change because he is arguing that it is "cruel and unusual punishment" (a violation of the 8th amendment) to deny him medical treatment. He claims he is depressed for being a man and therefore wants a sex change.

This is a man who murdered his wife, and before that murder took place, he made no attempt to pay for a sex change. So now, in prison, knowing that if he plays his cards right, he can get it for free, he is most definitely working the system over . . . or rather, that is what most people would agree on.

This is an extreme example, but I think it highlights the controversy in the way that it should.

These people though...are a small amount in comparison to the whole amount of people who claim benefits. I know they exist but disproportionate focus on them, distorts it for all of us. There's a lot of news stories up here in scotland about benefit fraud and im not moaning about it but other people who arent on benefits seem to moan a lot more. They start to have this weird view that its easy to be on benefits. I've had people saying they wish they were disabled, thats fuckin weird.

I want to work, just in a job i love...everyone does. I get DLA money which will be for all my life (its a living allowance), if your disabled you more likely to be in poverty because of medical costs, extra trips to the hospital etc. I have incapacity benefit which coz im at uni and i cant work at the same time...i'll die of exhaustion. I dont think anyone should work while in uni, uni is work itself, unpaid but work nonetheless.

There will always be cheats and if you can find them good...but dont report it in the news, if u do, then you must proportionally report on companies and the govt nickin a lot more money from people.

That's definitely screwed up. If they were truly disabled and totally reliant on government benefits alone (at least out here in the States) they would not be saying that.

I know a girl whose parents are claiming disability checks from the government, yet they are working! So they are basically breaking the law, but obviously the disability checks were not enough.

It is, but you know how it is, it's so expensive that most people have to work while going to school, at least part time. It's more of a time inconvenience when people have to work full time and go to uni, because they are then taking very long just to get a degree done.

I was lucky to get my 4 year degree done in 3 years because I had a prepaid fund from my parents. But I know that when I go on to do my master's, it will take longer than it should because I'm on the police force now . . . sucks, but better late than never.

police force? ah dont manage any protests...you usually do more harm than good.

Protests?

Because of the first amendment, we have to let people protest, unless they are required to have a permit and they don't have one.

But usually, as long as it doesn't get out of hand, it's fine for people to protest.

why should people have to apply for a permit to protest...if its already in the first amendment...does that not undermine the first amendment? As if you treat like something that can be taken away.

I didn't say I made the laws.

I think you need a permit to march, not just protest, and I'm not really sure why . . .

its so they know where they are so they can regulate them or take pictures of protesters, formulating a nice little dossier on them.
It gives them power coz if u asked to protest at a nuclear base...they'd refuse and with this law, their allowed to refuse.